Coalition Twister

Seeing how ambivalent the country seems to be about both putative coalitions on offer in the General Election, and in order to spare us from all the tortured post-election deal negotiations, the Dail parties should instead agree to play a game of Coalition Twister.

Considering there's no real difference between any of the parties - other than personnel - it could be a neat and speedy way to bring about the next Government.

President McAleese, as constitutional guardian, could call out theinstructions and each party could be assigned their own colour: Fianna Fail could be grey and the PDs a slightly lighter shade of grey; Fine Gael could be blue, Labour red, Sinn Fein black (as in sheep) and the Greens, naturally, a turquoise colour.

Following the rules of Twister, the various parties could then contort themselves left and right into whatever position is called for - shouldn't be too much of a stretch for any of them - and whatever colour or combination of colours still standing at the end could form the new Government. It would certainly bring some colour to this election for the first time.